To unfriend?

I notice a lot of people claim psychology disorders, and I am sometimes quite quick to attribute them to people: narcissistic, manic depressive, depressive, histrionic (the most common in my opinion), Münchausen syndrome (and by proxy) and a whole range of body issues that would keep a psychologist in work for years to come, but I think all of us have some elements. I would say I could have a tendency towards the depressive, but it is slight. I am also quite paranoid (as many of my blog post probably show) but I like to think I am a long way off needing to be sectioned. But I notice now there is a rising trend in people who not only have bad moods, but have consistent issues and air them at length. Both twitter and unfortunately my Facebook timeline are quite bad for this. I like everyone have a moan, I have a man period, I hate Monday mornings, and I love a good gripey whinge, but some people seem to use these social media as a form of counselling. The problem with this approach is that it can have limited success or end up feeding the Monster and making it almost a form of entertainment. I have a few case studies to back up my awful generalisations and sweeping statements, and then I have the person with who I have the most issue and I need to decide whether to commit the ultimate sin and unfriend her on Facebook. 

 

1. I think Twitter is bad for mental instability becoming a form of entertainment or almost feeding other peoples desire to feel needed and important – for the histrionic. A particular case I have in mind is someone that clearly has issues we will call him X. He has lots of followers, but previously I would say that he was a manic depressive, he is up and down like a rollercoaster, and brutally open with it, but part of his histrionic situation is that he requires constant confirmation from others that he is ok. Sadly there is a group of people that have almost taken on the role of being his crutch, and I think they are perhaps more unstable because they get pleasure and gratification from his pain – Münchausen by proxy. Sometimes I do think he is truly depressed, but sometimes I think them revelling in it and affirming it even if there is actually no justifiable reason. Now I can hear the battle cries and the self doubt – is that me? I don’t follow this person any longer, so if I follow you, you are safe. Also I hear your criticisms that I don’t know this person and therefore who am I to judge him or his supporters. The reason I can is because this person is publicly advertising this situation and even unfollowing him hasn’t removed him from my timeline.

 

2. Case study Y is a slightly more complicated character. I had real issues with him. He was perfectly nice and polite to me, always asking how I was, saying good morning on twitter, and a close follower to the things I said. However I found him to be oddly narcissistic sociopath (forgive me if my diagnosis is not quite correct – I’m not a professional – this is armchair psychology) which had a really interesting juxtaposition bearing in mind I knew of this person through a social network. He seemed to require to enjoy using twitter to be “social” but this was generally inane chit-chat and sometimes came across as a little needy, however he also liked to air his views (again fine), however I often found them simplistic and very much Black and White, and I would have said uninformed or ill-informed. Therefore his views were often quite contentious and prompted a response. I initially excused his sometimes aggressive statements as being his youth and somewhat his passion, I became slightly more sceptical when whole swathes of people were entering into arguments with him and there was a mini Twitter pitch battle. I finally broke and reached for the unfollow button when someone very reasonable was suggesting an alternative point of view and he said “I don’t come on here to get into a discussion – I know I am right” – admittedly they were having a deep discussion about Irish Riots which Twitter is clearly not the place for unless you’re very succinct, but to be so dismissive of someone else’s opinions and not allowing them to respond went against what I thought twitter was about. He asked me immediately why I unfollowed but I didn’t want to get into it. In this case the social media seemed to be feeding his ego, feeding his sense that people were either with him or against him. 

 

3. Then we come to my “friend” from Facebook. She has many many issues, but to give some background on our friendship. About 5 years ago we were part of a group that did everything together, it just so happened that our planets aligned and we all went out pretty much every night. To be honest she was always a little dramatic, a bit of an odd ball and we did wonder whether much of her history was tall tales (otherwise she had the most horrific and adventurous childhood and adolescence known to man – including murderous twin – very Days of Our Lives) but since the advent of Facebook and the acceptance of inane status updates we are now getting a full running commentary. She often refers to periods when I knew her well, and I was in her life and knew her girlfriend and yet she depicts a completely different story to the one I ever saw or experienced (but benefit of the doubt – we don’t know what happens behind closed doors) but then they came:

 

“Z is not a happy bunny”

“Z is not enjoying today”

“Z is furious with the world”

 

Ok, ok, we all have moments where we need to rant, but these statements were always so random, out of sync with the rest of her timeline and never explained. Even if directly asked “is everything ok?” she will not respond. I think often she needed people to show they cared. Unfortunately these would eventually ramp up.

 

“Z is on the verge”

“Z doesn’t know why she bothers”

“Z thinks everyone hates her”

 

Her poor kind friends (this doesn’t include me) would obviously flock to her page and write comforting messages and supportive things, but the oddest part is then 15 minutes later “yum Mushroom noodles” appears as her next status update. It is all too much for me. Sometimes she descends into utter madness and it’s lots of “Z f*cking hates you for lying to her and making her feel like nothing, well not any more. I am done with it.” Again there is no explanation and no reasoning, so my patience wears thin. The problem with Z is that she does two other things I cannot bear. She takes endless amounts of photos of herself in various pouty faces (I know I know, we all like to take the odd pic of ourselves if we feel we are looking good, but come on – not every day a new picture with a  new pouty face) – and this I find awfully narcissistic. And her final nail in the coffin that got me to unfriending her was she set up a Alter-Ego Facebook profile for her “professional modelling persona”. No. Just No. Nothing more. She isn’t that pretty. She is short and wide of hip. And She isn’t in any way model material. I would like to add she isn’t just any model but a seductive model – all her photos have a slight soft lens look, she is normally in underwear and draped over the nearest couch. It is not a good look.

 

With all these people and a lot of other I do wonder if they are looking for their 15 minutes of fame? Whether it be from friends, or twitter they are just desperate for the validation. But then I think I am too. I have had a short hiatus from Twitter and I have really missed it. Suddenly I am full of witty things I could have tweeted and things I wanted to say out into the ether. And oddly more than once I thought  “I should blog about that” but then I think – does it make me as bad them? That I want people to read my thoughts, and find them important. Who Knows? All I know is that I wont be unfriending her just yet, as sometimes crazy as I find her I also find her oddly entertaining and enthralling.