I find it somewhat exhilarating to hate someone with a passion, to find every small fault they have and tear it apart, have the little rants in your head (I know I don't sound very sane) and come up with the killer quips, and celebrate every tiny misfortune they have. I know this sounds petty but normally I pick a nemesis with care... I wont just pick someone at random for some small slight - like they barged me out of the way on a train although that does get the thought of carrying a rocket propelled grenade launcher whirling through my head... but I'll pick them for a heinous crimes against me personally that I deem unforgivable.
Here is a brief summary of some of my favourites:
1. At School I had two - which isn't bad for all years at school and both were my friends and I felt betrayed me.
- Laura - She was probably my closest friend in my first 4 years at secondary school, but there was a slight problem. I was a homo - I may not have known it at the time but it caused a real tension between us. I think she always thought I was madly in love with her but I wasn't (obviously). In fact I enjoyed gossiping with her and chatting with the other girls, but I mainly did it because she was the fat girl of the 'Cool Girl Gang' and it was my only way to be vicariously cool and protected from anyone that might be tempted to bully me for being a big mo! Her mistake was to try to turn on me and throw me to the wolves of the bullies in the school by one week declaring she thought I was gay. Obviously by doing this she left me effectively friendless and open to the bullies - luckily I was no shrinking violet so I managed to survive, but I never forgot. In many years to come I was able to repay her in kind when we were in sixthform and I managed to find out she had cheated on her boyfriend - although I never told anyone (at the time) I let her know I knew. I enjoyed her squirming and eventually she was forced to come clean which in sixthform was equivalent of painting the Scarlet Letter on her chest and sending her through the village in stocks.
- Howard - He was my best friend through most of GCSE's and he later turned out to be gay, but he stabbed me in the back twice, and the first I forgave but the 2nd I took personally. The first time was when he left me to walk home alone, across a park in which he knew the boys that had been in there were rough and likely to start trouble. Needless to say they did and I ended up in hospital, and I was told by others that he knew it would be trouble and left but at the time I didn't want to believe it. The 2nd time I couldn't forgive him because he effectively did the same thing Laura did, one day he turned around and said "I am going to play football with the other boys" - even though it was a well known fact we were both rubbish at football and so we annoyed the other boys more than anything - he stopped sitting with me in class, and we pretty much never spoke again. Once we left school he told someone that he did that because he realised he was gay and thought it would be worse to be around me, he thought if he could be around the other boys that played sports he might not turn out gay. Sadly for us all it didn't work as he was and is a total minger - so doesn't add to our ranks - but I never forgave him. So years later whilst I was home from Uni - revenge is always better with a bit of distance - I heard from our joint friend that he was still a virgin and that his mum told him that she accepted he was gay but he was never to mention it, I made sure I went to the next reunion and regaled everyone with stories of my accepting family, including my mother (who was well known for being a dragon, and calling the Headmaster a cunt) and rubbing it so far in his face that I almost made myself a little sick. Ok, ok - its not pretty but I felt a sudden relief from the hurt he had dolled out on me and the loneliness I felt as a 16-18yo with no close friends which I placed firmly at his door.
- Lucy - In my first year at Uni I lived in halls, where you only shared a Kitchen with 6 people, most of them international mature students, but I was lucky (or so I thought) as I had a girl right next door who seemed fairly similar to me. We decided to go on the hunt for other first years and quickly found a few. It was an exciting time to meet new people and for me my first chance to tell people I was gay (or Bi to begin with - ha ha) and no-one knew me as the buck-tooth braces wearing fatty with the hairy legs. We didn't do much in our first week as the 2nd and 3rd years had already bought all the tickets to everything and had managed to fill the bars to the brim. But over the coming weeks we met more and more people and as usual I was the only boy with about 10 girls as friends. At first I really liked Lucy, she was a bit naive, tended to started any story of her past with "when I worked at Strawberry Moons in Harlow..." and called her vitamin D supplements her "sunshine pills", and seemed a bit man-mad so I felt like we could get along. Unfortunately (for her) she had other ideas about us being friends, she started arranging nights out and either telling me they were "girls-only" or pretended she invited me to the other girls. At first I took this on the chin, as I assumed this was the way it would be but the other girls were outraged and started to invite me along. Obviously I was a little negative about her then... taking the piss out of her sunshine pills, which if she forgot to take she would feel down...?!?!? Luckily my now best friend saw straight through her and told us she was clearly working us against each other, as she had been slagging us all off to each other and trying to create tension. She was particularly hard on me and one other girl (probably the most unstable of all people I have met) and she was almost cruel - unfortunately this got me to red mist stage and as she said in my presence "I don't know if I agree with gays, it seems a bit wrong" I decided I would show her how wrong we could be. So just before our first term broke up and she had been particularly cruel to other girl I told her what I thought of her, called her out on her underhand tactics, that no one cared what happened at Strawberry moons, and most of all I thought she was a total Cunt, and if she crossed me again it would be the last thing she did. Over Dramatic I know but I was still awash with hormones and I felt wronged. It turned out worse for her as she had failed pretty much everything (she was quite dim) and decided not to come back to Uni after Christmas.
- Deborah and Karin - This is a bit of a long story but these are the two girls me and my best friend (KT) lived with in our second year - needless to say it turned incredibly nasty but this tale I will leave for another blog as otherwise it might become an epic. Needless to say though we got our revenge and became the best of friends through it.
- I have had a lot of work nemesis' but my recent one is my favourite because he is so smug and we have actually had a falling out where we will actively avoid having any contact with each other including being in the same lift. My issue with him was because he told a senior director in a pub that I had shagged a new guy on my team in the office stairwell. Now I may have made this rod for my own back because earlier in the evening at someones leaving reception I had been joking with the other numerous gays in my directorate about who we would and wouldn't do, but this was clearly jesting and clearly for the group. Everyone was taking part including my nemesis and I happened to say that I would do the new boy on my team, as he joined the group discussion (mainly to try to embarrass him but he is as shameless as me) and I said "I'd do it on the stairwell." Unfortunately my nemesis not only told the senior director but also the office gossip, who spread it quicker than I thought humanly possible, the sad and annoying fact was that it was done all very maliciously - not one person spoke to me about it, or discussed it with me, it was completely done as spiteful hurtful gossip to making me look both predatory and unprofessional, and in these difficult times it was the last thing I needed. So I bide my time... and wait ....
I really enjoy having a nemesis, it's good for me to to actively dislike someone, and turn rage towards. I know it probably sounds a little too dark for some of you and it probably makes me sound unhinged, but I think it is healthy to dislike people, and I think in some ways it is a compliment to these people as I would rather be considered as someones nemesis than to not be considered at all. But one word of warning is that you shouldn't have too many enemies (as I did at school at one point), or nemesis' because then you have to consider is it all of them at fault or you?
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